The dichotomy in me
One of the reasons that I am destined to be alone for most of my life is due to the dichotomy in me, and ironically it is the same dichotomy that helps me be unique to some degree. The dichotomy I speak of is as follows:
To most people I come across as a seemingly intelligent and sensitive male who just happens to possess some good looks. This may make them think that I have been blessed in both areas. They couldn’t be more wrong.
For twenty two years of my life I was an overweight friendless nobody. In that time I devoted much time to thinking, improving my brain and succeeding in attaining a good academic education. Then through coincidence more than anything, I went on a journey that led to some dramatic weight loss and this in turn was the beginning of the ‘other’ me, the beginning of the dichotomy if you like. I saw first hand how being ‘attractive’ was positive in opening doors, being noticed wherever you go and getting most that you can desire. In the end I realized that to get the most out of life I would have to spend enough time in both areas, because both potentially have huge lessons to teach me.
Therefore, I am a devotee to the ‘body beautiful’ and the brain, and that is the dichotomy. Most people either fall into one or the other category; rarely does someone fall into both. And even though I knew from the outset that the brain would prevail, because that is the root of all growth, I still found the ‘attractive body’ area to have an equal measure of magnetism; after all, we are mind and body, not one or the other.
People are baffled that I devote time and effort and take risks in getting a better body. Were there no risks when I was alone for twenty two years, thinking that I had little value? I had no confidence or self-esteem. I am now trying to gain that, and getting a better body is helping that very aim.
Do I think that spending time with ‘beautiful but dim’ people will give me what I want? Dim may be a bit harsh, so lets change it to ‘people who I cannot connect with on a mental level’ in case the pc police is reading this. The answer is yes, because what I need is experience to confirm that is not something I want. The fact is that when I see tarty images on all mediums, my penis jumps into the driving seat, which is normally occupied by my brain. I have lots of attractive and idealized images on the ‘beautiful’ folk, from actors to page 3 boobs. My rationale is a great indicator that these images are mainly hollow, however that is not good enough to put that desire for ‘beautiful bodies’ to bed. I need experience like a glamour girl needs a surgeon.
People say too readily at times, “go for your dreams”, “follow your desires”, interestingly, at times in life it is as important to dismiss wants and desires through experience.
I have driven a Porsche, a BMW M3, and I can tell you that I would feel no difference riding a push bike. But I can only tell you that after having driven the highly alluring sports cars that many aim for and/or dream of.
I think in the era that we are in, it is very important to know the truth behind celebrity, beauty and money. It is easy to castigate from a far, it’s a touch more difficult to gain entry to V.I.P.
